


Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer of

by Sandwich130



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abduction, Belgium is a minor character, English is my second language, Gen, Humor, No pairings - Freeform, Own Character, Russias Basement, This work was translated from German
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-03-26 11:22:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13856775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandwich130/pseuds/Sandwich130
Summary: Everyone has asked themselves this question at least once: What happens in Russias mysterious basement?But there are some questions you shouldn't ask... Well it's not like you have a choice when you're stuck there.





	1. Chapter 1

 

People tend to ask the dumbest questions when they wake up.

Questions like: „What happened to me?“ , „Where am I?“ oder „Is this your basement?“. 

I mean, why can’t they just accept that they woke up in a dark basement without knowing, what happened and how they got here? I mean, it doesn’t even matter why they’re here, as long as they are here.

With these thoughts in my head, I try to fit down the small stairs without hitting my head . It wouldn’t have hurt anyone to build those a bit bigger.

Whatever, I can build bigger stairs if the basement explodes again.

I open the basement door. Icy air makes my breath visible again. Maybe i should buy a little heater, otherwise my guests won’t be able to have fun with me anymore.

Just like chickens, I think. Chickens are only useful if they aren’t laying in a freezer as well.

 

I like my basement. It’s the perfect place to put stuff that you don’t want anyone to see – remember, I’m not a fan of people asking questions. Also it’s great for having people stay in there. That’s actually the thing I like most, even though they always ask those stupid questions.

Since all my friends and family left me years ago, I don’t have anyone. That’s why I’m sometimes a bit lonely, but that issue is solved with strangers in my basement.

I walk towards my guest who just woke up. He’s going to ask dumb questions. I can see it in his face. Well, it’s not like I’m going to anwer his questions… 

I play around with my iron pipe which I always have with me, just in case, and look at the other man for the first time.

He is a small, bald man with large, round, blue eyes that remind me of a fish.

I used to have fish a long time ago, but they didn’t really enjoy the microwave. Not my fault, I just wanted to help them. As my house is really cold – especially in winter – I thought I could warm them up a bit. I mean, I couldn’t possibly have known that fish die when you microwave them.

The man is looking at me with his big, scared eyes and he says… Nothing. He doesn’t say anything at all. Poor guy, probably too afraid to speak. I decide to try it with a friendly and welcoming smile. Still no reaction, I thought a smile was supposed to be calming and reassuring. At least that’s what it says in the book „Natural Laughing 1“, which I borrowed from Germany when he wasn’t there. But all that doesn’t seem to work here.

I’m slowly getting a bit angry. I’m not exactly having fun in this cold, dark hole and the world conference in Belgium starts in six hours.

It seems that my impatience is clearly visible, because my nameless guest finally decides to open up.

Great, he’s introducing himself at last. I waited long enough.

 

But my guest doesn’t bother to tell me his name. Instead, he just whispers:

„Who are you?" He is shaking, I notice. I don’t know if that is because of the cold or the fear, and to be honest, I don’t really care.

The more important issue here is: My guest still hasn’t introduced himself, he just asked for MY name. He doesn’t have any manners at all.

Unlike me.

I am a very polite person.

That’s why I choose to intoduce myself first. Even though he should know me already, which would mean that it’s his turn to tell me his name now.

„Are you saying you don’t know who I am?“ 

„…“

„Well, it seems like I have to show you how to properly introduce yourself first. I am Ivan Braginsky, the personification of Russia.“

My guest doesn’t have anything to say to this information either. I’m wondering if he has ever heard of me… Because if he hasn’t, I’ll have to make him never forget my name again in his life. Kolkolkol…

„Anyway, who are you? Do you even have a name?“ „I won’t tell you anything about me!“ He tries to shout his words, but his voice is trembling. It’s kind of cute how he tries to look brave. No, I don’t have time to think right now. The conference is starting soon, and I still have to fly to Belgium.

„Alright, ifyou don’t want to tell me your name, fine. I don’t have time for that sort of game. I still have to go somewhere. I’ll just give you a name myself.

But which name fits you?

Oh, I know! My fish that died in the microwave was called Yana, and you my friend, really look like she did. Especially your eyes. I’ll just cal you Yana, okay?“

„What? Yana? But… I’m not a woman?“ Yana whispers.

I act like I haven’t heard him and walk up the basement stairs, humming. I can’t miss the plane now.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished translating this chapter!   
> Please commment if you have anything to say!  
> The next chapter hopefully won't take as long..

Chapter 2  
I open the door to the conference room. It seems like I’m a bit late, the heated discussion about the question if a hero, who patches the (Ozonloch) up, is actually a good solution, has already started.  
Almost everyone is against this idea, by the way. Some people want to invest money in research programs, others don’t want to spend money at all, and some others just don’t care. I laugh a bit ablut America, who is currently explaining all of the advantages of his so-called „Patch-Up-Hero“. Of course it was Americas idea, who else would’ve thought of something like that.  
To be honest, he really gets on my nerves sometimes. He always acts like he’s the saviour of the world, even though most of us only see him as a child, that doesn’t know about all the cruelties of this world yet.  
I too think that way about him, I notice while I go up to my place. 

Ah, today it’s lively as always again. There is really nothing better than hearing the voices of other people. It makes you realize that you aren’t alone…  
Deep in my thoughts, I don’t notice the Italian brothers coming in – almost an hour late – and shouting something, until I hear my name being said.  
„What was that about me?“ I ask smiling.  
„Well, you should…“ Germany starts, but gets interrupted by America, who is complaining about no one appreciating his thoughts on the subject. That gives me an idea. America might hate me for this, but I don’t really care. There are a lot of other countries left that could become one with Russia. Prussia for example. His capital is already one with me, which is an amazing thing, but all the other parts, that still belong to Germany and Poland… Yes, I still have a lot of things to do.   
Speaking of Prussia: Where is that guy? He can’t be here, I would have noticed him for sure.  
I hope he is alright, is my first thought, I worked so hard on keeping him alive while he was my guest. I push my worries, that shouldn’t even be here, given the fact that this guy is supposed to be my enemy, away and start with my plan.  
„Hey, America“, I ask him smiling, „what’s your opinion on basements?“ „Basements?“ He looks at me, puzzled. „Yes, basements. I think a basement is the most important thing in a house. But there are a lot of other nice places too, for example attics. And do you know what those two places have in common?“ „No, what do you mean? Hey, Russia, don’t look at me like that! Give me an answer!“ He’s confused, that’s cute.  
I pull my metal pipe out of my coat and hit him with a casual swing right on his head. America goes down. And I give him his answer. „There is a lot of place to make, let’s call it certain things disappear.“ 

I go back to my seat and announce in a friendly tone: „Well, our first problem is out of the way, I’d say we can comtinue now, da?“  
Silence reigns for a few seconds, until Switzerland starts voicing his concerns about current events: „Why do you guys send all the refugees to me? I told you before, I can only take 15000 in every year, and those numbers are generous!“   
„Ve, but Switzerland, that’s not my fault! Don’t look at me with that evil stare! I can’t do anything if they don’t like it at my place!“ Italy tries to remove himself out of the situation, „And it’s not like you lack the money for a few more!“   
Germany agrees with his friend. „Exactly. I take more in than you do too. Besides, don’t forget that you’re a member of the UN too, which means you have to help too. Your excuses don’t count anymore.“ Switzerland doesn’t have a clever response to that.  
I glance at my watch, this conference has already been taking way too long. Luckily, I’m not alone with that opinion. Belgium gets up and announces the end of the conference.  
Everyone is glad to get home, only Romano still has a complaint to make. „Hey Belgium, you know that I don’t dislike you personally, but have you ever been to the ‚pizzeria‘ across the street?“   
Everyone else is already leaving, it’s common knowledge that the older Italian brother won’t let someone go that fast if he has something to say about their food.   
However, I stay in the meeting room and try to take the still unconcious America with me. He’s pretty heavy for someone his size…  
Belgium and Romano are still discussing if pizzerias that aren’t run by actual Italians count as a crime. Honestly, I don’t care as long as the vodka is good.  
Also, I finally managed to hide America in a cardboard box, which was conveniently standing around somewhere, and leave towards tje airport, huge box in my arms. I’m sure that I’m going to have fun with America, and Yana shouldn’t bee alone all the time either.  
But how am I going to bring him home? He won’t be able to pass as luggage, the security scans are pretty harsh nowadays. I think, I will just send him to my address like a package. That would be like a present from me to myself, how nice!   
I happily give the box with my friend to the post office and head on my plane.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my story! I hope you liked it! Comments are always welcome, and YES, I DO accept constructive criticism. If there are grammatical errors, typos or other things you have to say, feel free to do so.


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